There is a post by Timothy Leary called You aren't like them and it ends with the words "find the others."
I find that the more I allow myself to be seen, the more I connect to those that are similar to me, or am I similar to them?
As I walk down this road, I meet with great people who's soul has been aching and calling out, as loudly as mine for connection. That is the reason I am so glad I found this person along the way.
Here I leave you with one of his writings. It moved me so, that I could not keep it to myself.
I know it was raining when we parted our ways, since then I cry when the skies aren’t happy. I don’t know what we argued over but I am sure it was menial and not worth the effort for the both of us to pride up to.
There has not been a day that has passed without you in my thoughts, dreams and sighs. The way you smiled at the passing sun, or held your hand out to gather wind, or blinked at the brightness of stars. I miss your subtly, the way you carried the weight of the day with your voice and how you removed the yoke of from the burdened innocents you met each night.
My arms ache from holding nothing, my heart beats only to remind that each one is not with you, I only hear the foul air and taste the last day’s rain without you.
Being caught in the black widows’ web with her not there is a sentence punishment worth bearing.
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
She came to me, that last day, after everything between them was said, she came to me. She was broken, sad, emotionally drained, and yet, she spoke of him, if only to me. I thought words had left her, I thought she was done, and still she spoke, with all the effort of a dying woman, she let out the whatever emotion she had left in her. One last tear running down her cheek, and the fading light of hope in her eyes.
-All I wanted was for him to look at me the way he looks at her; for him to talk to me as if his words could caress my skin; make love to me in broad daylight with only his voice. I wanted him to touch me the way he touches her, with a need that burns him. I wanted to be the center of his attention; I wanted the world to disappear around us; I wanted to feel the same magic she feels when they are together.I wanted to get lost in him the way she does; I only wanted what I thought I deserved...I just wanted him.
-They are just friends.
-So they keep saying, but it is obvious to anyone who pays attention, to anyone that wants to see.
-If what you say is true, how come it took you so long to see it?
She looked at me with a bitter smile curling on her lips, her hand reaching up to wipe that last tear from her cheek in an almost angry way.
-I always knew. Since the first day, but I hoped. He told me over and over again that they were only friends, and I believe he wanted to believe that, still does, Otherwise he would risk it, losing her that is, and she is the one thing he won't go on without. Still, I hoped he could grow to see me, the way he saw her, I thought he was worth the pain.
- Every minute with him was agony, it was pain in its purest form. But while it lasted, it was all worth it.
-And now? Why walk away now?
-I don't know. Maybe I want to give them the chance to be together, to be happy. Maybe by leaving I will release him of his believed responsibility towards me. Maybe now he will finally be free enough, brave enough to go after what he really wants. What we all know he wants.
-Or maybe you finally realized you deserve to be happy.
She smiled bitterly, renewed tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
-He was my happiness.Please look after them.
She gave me one last half smile and walked away, leaving behind a love she knew had never really belonged to her.
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
I would cuddle up in your arms tonight, and tell you how sad I am, how afraid, and how much I wish to stay like this; and you would hold me and whisper in my ear that it is ok, caress my hair and encourage me to keep on going, to never give up. You would tell me that no matter what you will always be here, your arms will always be open for me. And I would look at you and smile, because all I needed was that brief moment, those soft spoken words of kindness, to know that it will all be ok, to once more rise and stand strong and face the world with renewed energies.
But you are not here, and I never heard those words.
So all that is left for me to do is curl up within myself, and say them, maybe, just maybe, it will be enough.
Posted by Black Widow at 6:53 PM
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
let us be free or wars and oppression, of racism and judgements. Let us stay away from misguidance, and social ruling.
Just let me die in peace, let me sate my curiosity and finally see what's on the other side. My arms are tired, my voice wanes, my will is broken, my life fades away. Just please let me go, be not afraid of what may come, for I leave, finally and my heart rests.
No more tears, I am content. I have seen this world change from what it used to be and turn to anger and fear. My time has come, let someone else take up the fight in my place.
Let me die in peace, for my part here is done.