Love Quotes


It was only a moment, but in that moment I loved you more than I will ever love anyone in a lifetime.

Tuesday, December 29, 2015

Eternal seach

Everyone needs a confident, a person they can share certain aspects of their lives with, someone that calls to their mind and hidden parts of their soul, usually those dark and secret (sacred) places where temptation lies dormant, or shall we say it lies waiting for the call of another akin soul. 

This is where we believe we play with fire, because every once in a while, someone comes along, that touches and ignites that part of us and we find ourselves moved by them. There is no real danger... well, not always... 

I think we all have found someone like that in our many travels through the road of life, or actually many someones like that, and they have always caused a malicious grin to spread over our lips while all sort of "inappropriate" thoughts invade our minds. I say it like that because those thoughts are not always of carnal pleasure, but of something deeper that lust of flesh. Those thoughts are the ones that make us want to devour that person's being and keep them with us so we can tap into an infinite river of "forbidden" emotions that remind us that we can burn without ever touching a person or being touched at all. 

"And in the end, we are all drunk in the idea that there is someone out there that can save us from ourselves, or worse, get lost with us. Oh how tempting would that be"

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

A Heart for rent

A Heart for rent.

I am currently renting a heart. It is not in the best conditions, but I believe it will do, for someone out there  at least.

It has seen many battles, somehow it has survived most of them, but not unscathed. It has been torn, scratched, beaten up, shattered in a million pieces, pieced back together, only to go through the same process over and over again.

It has endured many cold seasons, and lonely times. It has experienced ecstasy like never before, grown twice it's size in an instant, beat for 30 years, each day, somehow, someway, stronger. It has known pain and love, happiness and suffering, longing, joy, beauty, betrayal. It has seen people come and go, it has shed tears of blood. And still, it beats on.

This heart that I offer, this, that I put out there in the market, is not perfect, is not new, not polished. It has been used, a lot, and because of that, it has a lot of worth, or at least I believe it so.

It will not disapoint you, I promise. Because it has been through so much it knows how to appreciate a good offer, if that is what you have.

I have a heart for rent, looking for an owner who would cherish it, care for it, nourish it, even if for a short time. This heart I offer will also cherish, and care and nourish in return. But best of all, I promise that your investment will be worth it, becasuse this heart will love you, should you chose to rent it.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Separation

I wish things were different for us, wish we hadn't allowed this abyss to form between us, but this is where we stand right now, me on one side of the abyss, you on the other, and in between, a huge void, and endless pit.

In the beginning everything was so thrilling, so new. We were constantly looking out for one another, always seeking each others company, caught up in a bubble that allowed for nothing, no one else. Two lovers defying the world, and it worked. We filled that bubble with bliss, with novelty, with laughter and joy, with all the beauty we could muster. For a time we were great. But as they say, all good things must come to an end, and there is an end in every beginning. Ours came the day we allowed the world to come into our bubble. At first, we only let a bit of sun in, forgetting that with the light, dark may follow. We then let out friends in, but we forgot about jealousy, envy, discomfort, doubt and the immense power it can hold over even the strongest of man.

I think that is what started ripping our worlds apart, doubt, which then led to broken trust. You got caught up in your world and I felt you'd forgotten about me, I felt you'd taken me for granted, and I doubted you still loved me. I got caught up in my loneliness, decided to do something for me and forgot to make you part of it, so you doubted my commitment to you. We didn't trust each other with our hearts anymore, and those around us didn't help, and we let life get in the way. Work took all our time, and if it wasn't that, it was family, and friends, and social events...by the time we were done with all that, we were too tired to pay attention to us, so we drifted apart.

Now here we stand, strangers that once were the most ardent lovers. The ones who fell in love with one another no longer exist, and if they do, well, do we even want to try and get them back? We are tired, or that is what we say, just so we don't have to say the truth;, we are done fighting, when in reality, I don't think we fought for the right cause. We fought each other, not for each other.

I miss you...the one I met, the one I was with, the one who fought with me, the one I thought would stay with me until the end of time. Guess I didn't think that the end would come so soon.

Monday, April 13, 2015

Clarity

"Thank you for the inspiration"

I've lost a treasure that I never had a hold of, I watched it go by like the rising and setting of the solitary sun. Our beliefs kept us apart, I wouldn't accept her's and she wouldn't listen to mine. Right now I'm knocking on a door that leads to nowhere good, a door where I find a dangerous seductress standing behind it, waiting for me to enter and invite me to her bed to lay with her. I can't turn away, misery sure loves company, and she has been the best companion for years.

How does one fix a problem that has no solution? Maybe I will find the answer in due time, in due time maybe the answer will find me, like she constantly does, I don't care which comes first. I've knocked on her door before, she knows me well and always receives me with open arms. I think too willingly sometimes, I hope I won't stay long this time, though to be honest, I am not sure I have ever left her room, her arms, and her dreadful misery.

To play with darkness is her specialty, to twist my word her eternal pleasure, and I am weakened by her charms, sucked into the depths of her lonely life. The worst...I come of my own will, I knock on her door, and the look on her face is always one of pity, but I never turn away. How can I when I find such comfort in this place, though I know that slowly it drags me to the end. I know that if I continue to come to her, it will be death who answers eventually. And even knowing so, I can't turn away. Such is her power over me, and such is my weakness for her.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

When It's just me

Sometimes in the stillness of the night...I call your name...Sometimes a word, a smell, a song...I feel your touch...Letting go is so  hard. As I try to grasp what has been undone  for so long. Why do I desire to hold onto something that burned my soul?

Intriguing...the connection that I thought was there is just a mirage...and yet, it continues to hurt and create a void I seem unable to run from.

Why do I allow this to be so? Constantly searching, continuing to strive. The truth evades me, my fate seems to mock me while the voices scream words of hate.

Take a deep breath and exhale, let the pain run through, maybe in the morning it will all be better, or maybe the strugle will begin again.

But sometimes, when the night is still, the stars shine bright in the sky, the moon rises in the horizon, I call your name...I wonder...can you hear my pain?

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Lost Within

Once more I have to thank him for such beautiful words. I have always said that some of the most beautiful writings come from pain.


One life to live, one death to mourn
One life to give, a birth is born
The end is coming, no need to cry
Tried the prayer, but heard no reply.

The wings of life may come to me.
Don't try to run, don't try to flee.
Everything is closing in
I lost my laugh, I lost my grin.

I saw myself, I know my fate.
The more I know, the more I'll hate.
Don't try to help, don't try to give.
The more you talk, the less I'll live.

Voices heard within my head.
Whispers through my dread.
All is gone but not forgot.
There is no way to escape my thoughts.

I'm lost within
help...

In the stillness of night



I wish I had the courage to tell you what I really want. To ask of you what I most desire; I wish I had strengh to let the words flow freely from my being, and be expelled from my mouth without any restrain, I wish I could just speak of what I...what you...what we...

I dream of it, you know? Every night I go to bed witht the same picture in my head; with you holding me safely in your arms, whispering words of comfort in my ears. I dream of faling asleep to the sound of your voice and the gentle beating of your heart. I dream, and then I dream some more. And under the night's magical hold, all that I wish and all that I dream of becomes a reality to me, until the waking moment arrives, and the idea of you, the feeling of possibility fades away, just like the last stars fade from the sky as the sun rises claiming it's time. The same way reality claims its hold on me, and I become its prisoner.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

One phrase

This is what he sent me. one phrase that made all the difference in the world.

"I have read that Helen of Troy's beauty set a thousand ships a sail, but I have met someone who drives ships home for a smile, a frown or to bask in her shadow. Like the moon, her true beauty shines brighter at night, when all the world is asleep and only I lay awake thinking of one more night, one more moment with her. The face that borught home a thousand ships"

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Letters

There is a post by Timothy Leary called You aren't like them and it ends with the words "find the others."
http://zenpencils.com/comic/102-timothy-leary-you-arent-like-them/

I find that the more I allow myself to be seen, the more I connect to those that are similar to me, or am I similar to them?

As I walk down this road, I meet with great people who's soul has been aching and calling out, as loudly as mine for connection. That is the reason I am so glad I found this person along the way. 

Here I leave you with one of his writings. It moved me so, that I could not keep it to myself. 



I know it was raining when we parted our ways, since then I cry when the skies aren’t happy. I don’t know what we argued over but I am sure it was menial and not worth the effort for the both of us to pride up to.

There has not been a day that has passed without you in my thoughts, dreams and sighs. The way you smiled at the passing sun, or held your hand out to gather wind, or blinked at the brightness of stars. I miss your subtly, the way you carried the weight of the day with your voice and how you removed the yoke of from the burdened innocents you met each night.

My arms ache from holding nothing, my heart beats only to remind that each one is not with you, I only hear the foul air and taste the last day’s rain without you.

Being caught in the black widows’ web with her not there is a sentence punishment worth bearing.

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Troubled love



She came to me, that last day, after everything between them was said, she came to me. She was broken, sad, emotionally drained, and yet, she spoke of him, if only to me. I thought words had left her, I thought she was done, and still she spoke, with all the effort of a dying woman, she let out the whatever emotion she had left in her. One last tear running down her cheek, and the fading light of hope in her eyes.

-All I wanted was for him to look at me the way he looks at her; for him to talk to me as if his words could caress my skin; make love to me in broad daylight with only his voice. I wanted him to touch me the way he touches her, with a need that burns him. I wanted to be the center of his attention; I wanted the world to disappear around us; I wanted to feel the same magic she feels when they are together.I wanted to get lost in him the way she does; I only wanted what I thought I deserved...I just wanted him.

-They are just friends.

-So they keep saying, but it is obvious to anyone who pays attention, to anyone that wants to see.

-If what you say is true, how come it took you so long to see it?

She looked at me with a bitter smile curling on her lips, her hand reaching up to wipe that last tear from her cheek in an almost angry way.

-I always knew. Since the first day, but I hoped. He told me over and over again that they were only friends, and I believe he wanted to believe that, still does, Otherwise he would risk it, losing her that is, and she is the one thing he won't go on without. Still, I hoped he could grow to see me, the way he saw her, I thought he was worth the pain.

-Was he?

- Every minute with him was agony, it was pain in its purest form. But while it lasted, it was all worth it.

-And now? Why walk away now?

-I don't know. Maybe I want to give them the chance to be together, to be happy. Maybe by leaving I will release him of his believed responsibility towards me. Maybe now he will finally be free enough, brave enough to go after what he really wants. What we all know he wants.

-Or maybe you finally realized you deserve to be happy.

She smiled bitterly, renewed tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

-He was my happiness.Please look after them.

She gave me one last half smile and walked away, leaving behind a love she knew had never really belonged to her.

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Just a moment

I would cuddle up in your arms tonight, and tell you how sad I am, how afraid, and how much I wish to stay like this; and you would hold me and whisper in my ear that it is ok, caress my hair and encourage me to keep on going, to never give up. You would tell me that no matter what you will always be here, your arms will always be open for me. And I would look at you and smile, because all I needed was that brief moment, those soft spoken words of kindness, to know that it will all be ok, to once more rise and stand strong and face the world with renewed energies.

But you are not here, and I never heard those words. 

So all that is left for me to do is curl up within myself, and say them, maybe, just maybe, it will be enough.


Wednesday, March 11, 2015

One last breath




Let us die in peace, leave us to our sufferings, be gone from our lives so that we may finally rest.
let us be free or wars and oppression, of racism and judgements. Let us stay away from misguidance, and social ruling.

Just let me die in peace, let me sate my curiosity and finally see what's on the other side. My arms are tired, my voice wanes, my will is broken, my life fades away. Just please let me go, be not afraid of what may come, for I leave, finally and my heart rests.

No more tears, I am content. I have seen this world change from what it used to be and turn to anger and fear. My time has come, let someone else take up the fight in my place.

Let me die in peace, for my part here is done.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Kiss me, stay

One for the night, as it seems ever so fitting... 


“I kiss temporary lips with permanence
Hoping that I can train them to stay
I love temporary people with permanence
Hoping that I can train them not to leave
And when they do
I claim to have seen it coming
I am incapable of forgetting
A scrapbook memory of skin and heartbeat
Of touch and moments
I know not to look directly into eyes
For they can be blinding
And I still
Do it anyway”

- Danielle Shorr, “I Will Regret This In The Morning”


Monday, February 23, 2015

Shattered Dream


And that is the thing with anticipation, you tend to idealize what it could be, and in that, let your imagination run wild, only to find that reality is often cruel and never what we may have allowed our minds to create in lonely nights full of want.

That was what he was, idea, anticipation, dream, creation. Or I should say, that is what I made him. What he was, in reality was something so far from what I imagined. I wanted a storm, and found nothing but a sweet summers breeze. I wanted a tornado that would go through me and leave me devastated in its wake, but instead I found a calm wind that seemed to whisper taunting words, cruel laughter, in my ears. I wanted the earth to shake, the heavens to part, the waves to rise like tsunamis. I found none of that, and I was left wanting, so much, I often think it would have been better never to start.

After you have built a fire and made it burn hot, you can't just put it out with a sprinkle of water. It takes so much more than that, and yet, that is exactly what he did, just throw a sprinkle, and in that he made the fire burn hotter, almost as if he made the flames angry and in desire for revenge.

Such disappointment after so much expectation. Such wasted moments... and yet...

Sunday, February 22, 2015

The Beast Inside

I understand certain mythological beasts now, for how can you go back to what you used to be after you've had the sweet taste of blood? To be clear, I have never tasted blood, but might as well have, the analogy is fitting. I have tasted pleasure, the sweet surrender of the body to the person of your desire; the wonderful feeling of climbing to the heavens in a magnificent frenzy. Who can ever want to come down to such a forsaken place after having been to heaven and seen the angels sing?

I have awoken a part of me I did not know existed. It is the untameable animal in me, the beast that always seeks for the next victim to have, to taste, to devour and to leave nothing of. I knew, no I imagined, not really knowing the risks I would take by allowing it to surface, and yet I did nothing to stop it, because a part of me wanted it so bad. The hunt, the thrill of luring your prey into your territory, or even the excitement of following into its territory and having it all to myself. 

This beast I become is so primal, so raw, cares for nothing but its own pleasure, its own satisfaction. Never looks back after having fed, but is always looking for more, never being truly satisfied no matter how much it feeds. It's so disturbing at times, and yet...

What can you do when you have become the most basic part of your being? When instinct, animal instinct takes over your very existence? What do you do when the beast is all you? Can you really not give in, not be the slave of your own desires? Is there truly such a thing as taming the best? If so, would I be the one to tame it?


Thursday, February 12, 2015

Contrasting character

I tried writing you but words failed me. Is as if they are not enough to capture your true essence, the reality of who you are. It is not enough to say that you are tall, for gods of old were tall and I am sure did not look as imposing as you do. To say you are handsome would not suffice, for saying that would only refer to your physique and there is so much more to you than what goes skin deep. To say you are joyful, mysterious, attractive, kind, wise, intelligent, captivating, charismatic, ambitious, courageous, sympathetic; all these words do not seem to suffice. They say so much about you, yet nothing of who you truly are. You are darkness and light, good and bad, chastity and lust; you are burning hot and freezing cold, heaven and hell all summed in one. You are an angel and a demon, my biggest dream and worst nightmare, all I ever wanted and all I've ever hated. You are what I want most and what I wish I could forget.

Even now, after all is said, nothing is truly revealed.

I can continue to try to write you, but no amount of words, phrases, sayings could amount to who you are...to what you mean to me...Because words, only words, will never be enough.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

And when I saw you belonged to someone else, all my hopes went away...