Truth is, I'm scared. I am as scared as I've never been. Scared of not knowing, of knowing too much, of the possibility of what may come, of what may lie ahead. I am scared of today, of every moment. I am so scared, frightened, I feel as if I was walking on quicksand, and time itself is threatening on swallowing me, but not fast, not painlessly, instead, I am scared it will happen in a way I will be able to feel, to see, to know every second of it.
Truth is, this fear, this terror I feel, has posed itself inside of me, sat in my soul, as if a king on it's throne looking out into it's kingdom.
I shiver, feeling cold to my bones, knowing that it's burning outside, yet, I shiver. I fear that this...whatever it is..this silent disease, this unknown poison, takes over me, one dreadful second at a time.
How am I to hold on to hope when my body is infected by anxiety, terror, solitude, angst, by all this pain I can't seem to get over?
Truth is...I am drowning.