Best friend: OMG why do you look so crappy?
Her: crappy night!
Best friend: but I thought you had fun last night.
Her: oh I did, at the beginning
Best friend: weren't you with.. what's his name?
Best friend: that's what we're calling him now?
Her: it suits him
Best friend: why? does it taste like the rainbow
Her: it is kind of sweet tasting
Best friend: too much information
Her: you asked
Best friend: ok, but why are you in a crappy mood, if he tastes so good?
Her: well.. everything started just fine. I mean, after we left the bar we could barely keep our hands off of each other, I was really turned on and by what I could see so was he.
Best friend: ok....
Her: so, we finally, after many stops along the way, get to the motel
Best friend: aja?
Her: we can barely contain it, we start stripping. He says that since he has been in the streets all day long he wants to take a shower, so I join him.
Best friend: and?
Her: well. OMG!!! he has an amazing body, broad shoulders, strong arms, a six pack you can dial on, and a huge, delicious-looking-so-gorgeous-you-can-just-die-from-how-good-it-looks...
Best friend: I get it!!!
Her: and a nice ass too. I mean you know how hard it is these days to find a guy that has the perfect...umm...body, right?
Best friend: I know!
Her: does the architect always come to mind whenever we talk about beauty vs ugliness.
Best friend: HE HAD A HIDEOUS DICK!!!!! IT WAS REALLY JUST AWFUL!!!
Her: ok, ok, I get it. Anyways...
Best friend: yes please, do go on.
Her: so we take a shower and we are really trying to hold off as much as we can. We go back to bed and obviously I go down on him
Best friend: aja...and?
Her: perfect fit. But he wants to reciprocate, so I let him.
Best friend: and?
Her: you know I get nowhere like that. He is good, better than most, but I really needed to feel him. So he unwraps the condom and put it on.
Best friend: why the face?
Her: well, let's just say that it was as if a huge arrow had gone through a balloon and deflated it in about 10 seconds.
Best friend: are you joking?
Her: I WISH!!!!
Best friend: just like that?
Her: JUST LIKE THAT!!! I mean, here I am, about to burst in flames because I am so hot, and this dude put it on and it just goes down like an automatic switch!!!
Best friend: so what happened?
Her: Nothing happened, that is the problem. I mean, we can't do anything without a condom, and he knew that was the one unbreakable rule. But, My GOD!!!!
Best friend: so that was it?
Her: that was it!!!
Best friend: are you giving him another chance?
Her: I'm thinking about it, but really, it's as if the tower of Pisa finally decided to crumble. It was like an immediate thing! ugh!! and now I am so frustrated.
Best friend: calm down!!
Her: how can I? I am sooooo sensitive. I mean, this morning while getting dressed the fabric of my clothes turn me on. I can't see a handsome, muscular guy because I immediately start fantasizing and I get... ugh!!
Best friend: is it that bad?
Her: sweetie, you've seen my boss, yes?
Best friend: yes
Her: do you find him attractive?
Best friend: God no!
Her: well, for a split second I did!!! And then I caught myself. My boobs hurt, I have this tight feeling in the pit of my stomach, my nipples are hard, all the time, I can't think of anything else, no matter how I sit it's uncomfortable, and not to mention how sensitive I am down there!!!
Best friend: so this is what blue balls would be on a woman.
Her: arrrggghhhhhh F@*% you!