Love Quotes

It was only a moment, but in that moment I loved you more than I will ever love anyone in a lifetime.

Monday, December 31, 2012

Here's to us all. For what has passed and all that is yet to come. I toast

I must say that as the end of this year nears and the beginning of a new one approaches  that it has been a year of great discoveries, realizations and acceptance. It has been an unpredictable time, and the outcome of all these past events even more unbelievable than the year itself. 

Earlier this year I wrote a post of all the things that I have learned in my short lived time. Well, in the last few months of this 2012, I have come to realize, that we never stop learning and that life, without friends and family to teach you everything you know, is just empty.

I have learned, and come to understand (sometimes knowing is not enough) that the people God puts in your path are never there randomly, they always have a reason to be part of your life and always have a lesson to teach, whether the teaching would be of something you should change, something you should never do or something you should imitate.

I was born into a crazy, normal fucked up family, and as I grew up, more people became part of that fucked upness, My friends became extended family, brothers and sisters, some became distant cousins which you interact with briefly, and others became that annoying second cousin which you can't stand but also teaches you a valuable lesson by simply existing. 

None of us are perfect, none of us have all the answers, none of us really knows what all this is about. But there is one thing we are all certain of, that is just the point. We are not meant to be perfect and have all the answers. We are meant to learn how to appreciate each other, life, how to love everything about it and how to accept ourselves for who we are, while living. We are meant to grow with each other, to give ourselves the opportunities to mess it up and realize that we can always mend it and move on to becoming better human beings. 

I have made many mistakes, and I regret non of them, for without them I might not be here, I might not be who I am, and I might not be surrounded by all those wonderful people I am. It has taken me a while to understand this, but it is so true what they say, Life is not about the destination of your journey, but about the journey itself.

Today I am grateful for being alive, I am grateful for having had the opportunity to have lived yet another year making mistakes and having the chance to mend them. I am so grateful to have been born into a crazy family, and more grateful for having found such wonderful friends along the way, even those who are no longer at my side. I am grateful for what I have lived, sorrows and happiness alike. I am grateful for the pain, for it teaches me that I a still capable of great feelings. I am grateful for having found a person who in spite of all my issues still fights with me, for me. I am mostly grateful for having had the blessing of giving life to one of God's angels here on earth. 

I am grateful, for all.

This is dedicated to those who have been here and who are such a huge part of me.

To the Wise engineer, to the Smart entrepreneur,  to the Hopeful doctors, to the Witchy Nadeshko and to the Rational Emotion. This is to you guys.  

Happy beginning of a great year filled with new opportunities to do everything wrong, and then learn from it and do the right. 

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Unrequited love

Her: It must be hard.

Him: what?

Her: Loving a person who loves someone else.

Him: It's not easy.

Her: could you not love her?

Him: can you live without breathing?

Her: you deserve more

Him: she is what I want

Her: But she wants someone else.

Him: she does.

Her: have you told her?

Him: She knows.

Her: how?

Him: sometimes, to express a feeling the last thing you need is words.

Her: I'm sorry

Him: for what?

Her: you can't have her

Him: I do, in her own way she belongs only to me and in my own way I belong only to her.

Her: Is that enough though.

Him: it has to be.

Her: but it isn't.

Him: maybe in another time, another life, it will be our turn. But in this one, her heart is someone else's.

Her: lucky him, right?

Him: indeed. I just hope he knows how to treasure it.

Her: I hope so too.

Him: he really is a lucky guy to have you all to himself.

Her: you can't help who you love, right?

Him: you could, but eventually you will hate yourself for not choosing the person you fell for initially, you would forever consider yourself a coward.

Her: you know our story, I don't want to go through that again.

Him: you deserve to be happy

Her: so do you.

Him: you can't help whom you love, right?

Her: using my words against me?

Him: always.

Her: I have to go

Him: so soon?

Her: yes

Him: he's waiting for you, right?

Her: yes.

Him: he really is one lucky man.

Her: good night.

Him: until later. 

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

A year without him... without you

 As the news of late last night, dawn on me, my heart clenches at the realization that it will be a year without him. 12 months that I wont touch him, that I won't feel his warmth. My words echo in my head and it is almost as if a voice that I am only too familiar with, repeats them in a mocking tone "a year is nothing, it will be over before you know it, and you will be back with us".

Maybe I was still asleep when I said it and be lived to be dreaming, for it is the only way I may have utter them and sounded hopeful at the same time.

A year without him, without you. It is true, it is only a year, and if I have been able to bear this past two years without really having you, what difference will 12 more months be?
It's nothing, and I am sure that it will be December again in no time. But I hoped, Oh! and how I hoped that we would finally be able to begin, to start over from 0 and make this journey our own, to walk this path together, hand in hand. That has now been postponed yet another year.
But again, it's only a year. Time passes by in a heartbeat, figuratively speaking. Time is nothing but a notion, a way to calculate seasons, eras, the passing and the changes in the earth, it is but a calculation. To us time may mean nothing but seconds apart.
Time... once my best friend, not my sworn enemy. What am I to do but wait, until time decides to wane and you will be in my arms once more.
Until then my love.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

This is it..

cute!And this is what it's really all about. This is what we all want. Passion, adventure, a great moment anywhere, with the person we want. We want to be held and kissed and loved at all times, we want to be careless and daring, we want a story of our own, full of ups and downs, full of drama but with it's quiet moments as well. We want to feel alive! Can you really blame us? Deep down we know that is also what you want, so why is it so hard for you to give it to us, and don't give me the lame excuse that we won't let you.

We want it, no matter what we say, if you just stop hearing to what we say and listen to what we mean, it would be so much easier. Really all you have to do is look at us and you will know, how can you not? How can you not see how much we need you? How can you ignore how we melt when we see you? Do you not see it in our eyes, our smiles, the way our body tenses at the slightest touch? How can you not hear our heart beating at a thousand beats per second? How can you not tell?

This is what we want. We don't ask for the world, just for the moments. It is simple. All you have to do is pay attention. Dance with us, take your time while moving us to a slow rythym. Kiss us, gentle kisses, but don't forget that we need to feel that fire as well. Touch us, carress our skin, feel us, but don't grope us, we are delicate, no matter what we project, we are fragile, no matter how strong you think us. Love us, with all your hearts, for if you do, our love will be the same or even bigger, until the end of times.
Be ours for we have always and forever been yours.

Friday, December 7, 2012

The reason we go on.

It's funny how we, and by we I mean women, continue to torture ourselves watching a series of romantic movies, that most of the time, follow the same cliched storyline. We sit, enthralled, in front of a TV or computer and will not allow anyone to disturb us, while we sigh and swoon over these created characters that more often than not are a variation of one another. We insist that those scenes, shot for mere entertainment and marketing purposes, are the real thing, and soon forget that reality is, 1. very different and 2. in most cases, more enjoyable.
We allow ourselves to be taken to a universe where love is a complicated thing that always finds a way to thrive, and of course, the lead characters find a way to be together. The happy ending. But, once in a while, a great love story comes along that resembles real life a bit too much.

To throw and example out there (and one of my long time favorites) P.S. I love you. They meet, they fall in love, they are meant for each other, he dies, she lives, she has to move on (in synthesis). I believe that life is a lot like this. You find that one person that you feel is meant for you, everything clicks, you feel the universe and God conspire with you so that everything is perfect; and when you finally think that nothing can go wrong, life takes a turn, surprises you, takes you from behind, and it all falls apart. Leaving you to try and sort out the pieces (if you come out of it alive) and needing to start all over again.
Why, if we know how difficult it is, how torturing it can become and how much it hurts, do we continue to relentlessly look for it, chase after it, idealize it over and over, and undoubtedly fall. I am going to quote here another character from another of my all time favorites, Barbara Streisand, playing Rose in "The Mirror has two faces": Because while it lasts, it feels effing great.
I would have to agree. We, and again I mean women, continue to torture ourselves, because the few of us that have experienced it know how sublime it can be, we know that the little things that happen to us while with that person, are the things that sum up to a wonderful love. It is the dancing in the living room to a soft tune on the radio, because he felt like grabbing your hand and holding you close while moving to music. It's that message at 5 am, so when you wake up you see on your phone "I love you" and your day has been made for you; It's that moment when you don't feel like talking and he just sits next to you and holds your hand while saying nothing; It's when he takes you by surprise signing for you, even is he has the worst voice ever and signs off key; It's looking at you and making you feel like you are the reason for his existence; it's that moment when he says the most unexpected thing only to see you laugh; it's that, and many more things that make us continue to hope, to look, to search, for him, for it.
For the few of us that have had it, we never want to let it go; and for those few that have never experienced it,  movies (some of them) allow them to see (even if a bit dramatized or taken out of proportion) how it can be, so they pray, and hope and dream.
And that is the reason for the torture.
I know I will continue to torture myself, for I have had it, and I know how big it can be, I know how wonderful it feels. I see it, I see him, every day, in everything I do, he is always there in my memory, in my heart, and no matter what, we will always have each other, we will always have that dance.