Love Quotes

It was only a moment, but in that moment I loved you more than I will ever love anyone in a lifetime.

Friday, November 30, 2012

One way of getting even...

Best friend: hello!

Her: -__-

Best friend: aren't you cheerie today. What is wrong?

Her: oh nothing, just that I hate wasting my time.

Best friend: date last night?

Her: yes.

Best friend: that bad?

Her: Worst ever!

Best friend: but what happened, haven't you been seeing this guy for a while now?

Her: yes! and he is great company. We can talk about anything, and we have a really good time together, lots of things in common.

Best friend: so? I don't get it.

Her: we are not compatible in everything.

Best friend: Oh! he is bad?

Her: not as bad as disappointing.

Best friend: you're losing me here.

Her: he fell asleep.

Best friend: that is not so bad.

Her: while down there!

Best friend: Oh! umm, maybe he was tired.. Maybe he had a lot of work.

Her: he is on vacations

Best friend: maybe he ran a lot of errands.

Her: according to him he did nothing the entire day since he was waiting for night to come and the date.

Best friend: ummm, maybe he just needed a power nap before everything went better.

Her: I thought the same thing. And that is why we went out last night, to try again.

Best friend: you mean this is not the first time?

Her: nope.

Best friend: and he has fallen asleep while doing the same thing?

Her: oh no! before he fell asleep while I was doing it to him!

Best friend: maybe he just doesn't like that part of the act?

Her: aja! he also fell asleep while I was on top.

Best friend: ok, he has a problem.

Her: you think!

Best friend: have you ever completed anything?

Her: well, we have only tried those three times. I am kind of getting frustrated here.

Best friend: I can see that. Have you told him?

Her: I did.

Best friend: and?

Her: he said I was overreacting and that he is perfectly fine. That I was blowing things out of proportion. He basically said I was acting like a drama queen.

Best friend: so what are you going to do?

Her: I think I will try something different this time.

Best friend: uh-oh

Her: Well he called me a drama queen.

Best friend: well you kind of are.

Her: he has no idea.

next week:

Best friend: you look better today. Were you finally able to finish?

Her: nope.

Best friend: don't tell me it happened again?

Her: yes it did.

Best friend: and? what did you do.

Her: well, I was so upset yesterday that I decided to try something different. It tried talking to him again, but the guy went crazy and called me all sort of things. You can only imagine how upset I got. But rather than getting angry, I decided to get even.

Best friend: I'm scared.

Her: well, I just did some research.

Best friend: what type of research?

Her: well, he has a history of exes, and to my fortune and his misfortune, he keeps a little black book with their names and numbers. So i decided to call them up and pose as a journalist doing a piece on men with certain illness that prevents them from preforming properly in bed.

Best friend: you what?! and they believed you?!

Her: you know I can be very convincing.

Best friend: I have no doubt. And he didn't notice you took the book?

Her: I took advantage of the one of the times he passed out on me and took pictures of the little notebook, he always keeps it with him, that way I had the info in my phone.

Best friend: detectives should be scared of you.

Her: anyways. I called them up and asked them if they minded being interviewed and recorded.

Best friend: and they said yes?

Her: yep.

Best friend: how many of them?

Her: about 7.

Best friend: Oh my God!

Her: well, when I started interviewing them, and they started talking, I realized how upset and resentful they were at this guy, and that he made all of them feel as if it was their fault that he continued to fall asleep. Obviously at the beginning non of them were aware that I knew the guy as the I set them up on different days.

Best friend: aja.

Her: but when I realized that they were so resentful I decided to come clean and tell them the real reason behind the interviews. So I gathered all of them together and decided to do a bashing session, obviously, recorded.

Best friend: what were you going to gain out of this?

Her: well, revenge, what else? not just for me, but for them as well.

Best friend: poor guy.

Her: he had it coming. After the session, I called him  up and told him I was feeling kinky and I wanted to do a threesome and have the whole thing recorded.

Best friend: wait, what?!

Her: He upset me.

Best friend: apparently he raised hell on himself and didn't even notice.

Her: "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" Isn't that how the saying goes?

Best friend: geez! so what happened next?

Her: well, I hired a professional actress who had no problem in appearing half naked on camera.

Best: friend: you went all out! how much did this guy upset you?

Her: enough. So I bought sexy clothes and lingerie and got all dressed up. I rented a hotel room and told him that I wanted to make it special as it was a fantasy of mine. When he got there, me and the other girl were already there and I told him I just wanted to watch first and record the two of them. He went for it. This girl didn't even have to take off much, she got to take her top off and he fell asleep while she was kissing him! I am telling you this guy is amazing! So I recorded the entire thing and went home to edit it.

Best friend: why did you have to edit it?

Her: well, i kind of took pity on him and wanted to give him a last chance to get help, so I edited the video with the statements of all the other girls, I blurred their faces and changed the voices, for some confidentiality, and as a finale I put in the part in the hotel, with the other girl's face blurred out as well. I called him up and told him what had happened, again he said all sort of things, and I told him it was over. Then I sent him the video and told him if he didn't get any help I would post the thing in youtube.

Best friend: what did he do? Did he get any help? Did he call you back?

Her: he did call me back...

Best friend: and?

Her: the video has now over 12 million views. All the other girls and I shared the link to everyone we know.

Best friend: that was evil!

Her: no, it was payback!

Thursday, November 29, 2012

More of me...

If I told you my deepest, darkest secrets, would you stay? If I were to bare my soul to you and show you all the skeletons I keep locked up in my closet, would you love me the same?

I am not the person you think I am, I am not just smiles and happy thoughts. There is so much more to me, so many things you don't know, so many shades of color, so many curves and twists. But I am afraid, afraid that if you get to see me for who I really am, you will run, and I would let you.

There are reasons I hide behind my smile, there are reasons I turn the tables on everyone so everything becomes about them and never about me. I have learned and mastered the art of manipulation and I have built up walls so high it becomes almost impossible for anyone to break through them. There is really only one reason, but that one reason is enough. I would say is THE reason why people behave the way the do all the time. Fear of getting hurt.

Yes, I know, "there is  no gain without pain", "you will never really experience anything if you don't give yourself the chance to do it", "You need to allow yourself to feel in order to live". I have heard all the phrases, I have read all the books and I have tried every method. How do you overcome pain when you have been exposed to it for so long? How do you take a chance when all you've learned is to guard yourself? It is not an excuse, but maybe is a way to understanding me a bit more.

Life is not easy, mine is no exception. But my doubt remains. If you knew me, really knew me, would things still be the same?

Could I take the risk of ever telling you?

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Painted sadness

I see a man sitting on a bed. He's gorgeous but something is amiss. He is wearing faded jeans and a T-shirt and has his head bent. He looks familiar but I can't place him. He looks up and I see sadness in his eyes. How can someone so beautiful be so sad.

He looks my way, but is as if he can't see me. I want to reach out, touch him, but I can't. He looks so torn, his expression is that of pain, but not physical, is something more, something that runs deeper.

I recognize him now, he's an old friend, but this is not right, it can't be. I remember him strong, always smiling, I remember him happy. He is as beautiful now as he was then, but his eyes, his eyes have changed so much. What has happened to him, where has the life in him gone?

He stands up and walks to the window in the room, he walks past me. Why can't he see me? I try to speak but my voice fails me, I feel like some kind of ghost, there, but invisible, unable to talk or move. He is looking outside, just staring at the sunset in the horizon. It is so beautiful, the oranges and reds and yellows, the few remaining rays of light casting shadows in the room and around this man. He looks somber, but beautiful as if he came out of a Rafael painting. The entire scene is so sublime.

I hear him exhale deeply, a tired sigh and I can feel his pain. He turns and I think he sees me, I think he is looking at me. I gaze into his eyes and I can read the unspoken question in them "why?" I try to move towards him and as I do he fades away, the room fades away, everything turns dark. Where am I? What has happened to me? What has happened to him? And in that moment all I can think of is answering his question with the only answer I can probably give him "I'm sorry"
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Behind closed doors

I smile, allowing the phrase to echo in my brain..."Behind closed doors".

So many things can happen, you can become anyone, do anything you like, let your imagination fly and just become. Behind closed doors you can let go of all the complications of everyday life, you can undo yourself, and in the process you can undo me. Yes, this is an invitation.

Images, millions of them come to my mind. Some of them a bit innocent and sweet; others dark, twisted, sexy and lustful.
Bed ties, handcuffs, handkerchiefs, feathers, hands, hair, darker side calls to me, loud and clear, whispering things to my ear, things that make my insides burn just by thinking of them.

Oh how I want you! How I want you to want me, how I want you to do things to me, unmentionable things, but still, things.

My heart rate becomes faster as I imagine you undressing me, slowly, taking your time. I can picture you kissing me, running your hands, your lips through my body. Ah! It's too much, my desire for you grows. I want you, and I want you behind closed doors, because I know there you will have your way with me, and I will have my way with you. I will be able to let my true self come out, no restrains, no masks, no shame, no hiding.

Come with me, let me lose myself in you, leave everything outside and close the door behind you, for tonight, I'm yours and anything can happen behind these closed doors.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Sense of humor or twisted reality?

More often than not I think that God has a very dark and twisted sense of humor. He or she puts us in the weirdest situations at the worst possible moments. I don't know if the intention is to test our resolve or just laugh when we inevitably fall into temptation. Either way, it is a cruel thing.

We spend years looking for something and never really finding it, or finding it halfway, and then, when we are resigned and settle for accepting whatever we may have, the thing we want the most tends to just show up in our doorstep; uninvited, un-allowed, tempting us beyond out known limits. Cruel joke of life, horrible play by the ever conspiring universe.

Maybe it happens so we can overcome our weaknesses, so we can stay strong in our choices and be proud of standing our ground, thus becoming worthy of a better everything.

Yes, it sounded like a lot of B, to me too. I stick to the cruel ways of the one above.

Maybe we are really just pieces of a chess board and this is all a huge game, in which we DO NOT win.

Why do these things come to us when we apparently don't need then anymore, yet still want them with every fiber of our bodies? What are we supposed to do with them? Say no, thank you, I already have my worst-is-nothing-sort-of-thing-going-on? Is it that we are supposed to realize that what we have is precisely what we need, and what we want is not necessarily what is best for us (maybe I should be talking to a psychiatrist about all this, and maybe he will tell me to write about it thus confirming my cruel joke theory).

Anyways. All I know is that way too often I have found myself feeling that the world decided that the year should have at least 6 months of April fool's celebration and the joke is on me.

I wonder if Murphy is available. These days, I could really use him as an ally, or a punching bag, either way it works for me.
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Nothing often becomes something...

I am sitting in front of the screen trying to write something very ingenious and extremely profound and nothing comes to mind. I must be losing my touch (no, not that touch you dirty-minded-people). Either that or I am all of a sudden suffering from a serious case of nothingness. I wonder how long it will last.

As I let the minutes pass by and allow my mind to ramble, only two things come to me, love and death. What is it about those two things that obsess me? Is like the kisses and the sex, though I would gladly choose the sex over all. who wouldn't?

I thought of writing about my recent-almost-cinderella-like-experience, but there was no prince on that night that came to the ball and danced the night away with me, so there is really nothing to tell (except I feel I already said a lot).

I thought of writing about the complications of the male emotions (though they refuse to admit they have any, and some I almost believe), but for that I would have to spend too much time trying to understand them myself and it would take more that a few words to really explain it all (or maybe not).

I thought of writing about my irrational fear of death and pouring my heart out in an all too poetical way that would really reach out to my readers and allow them to feel the fear I describe. But the words elude me and my mind walks away from it all. Also my heart refuses to reach out to my emotions and tap into the feeling itself, so why bother or force it?

And then I thought of writing of nothing at all, but words, senseless and scrambled kept on coming to my head, refusing to stay trapped and forcing my fingers to exercise themselves (my mind couldn't force my fingers to exercise any other way?)

In the end, I am left wanting more, with a sense of unfinished business, tired fingers (and not in the way they should be tired) and over excited mind (that should be numb at this point) and a post about one too many things and nothing at all.

Something that was meant to be simple ends up being so complicated, much like life and love.