I have this incredible desire of just letting go, of giving in completely, of giving loose reigns to my thoughts and desires and just let them write and direct the next episode in my life. But I can't. i can't allow this to grow, i can't let go and let my desires run my life. Things are not so easy any more, things have changed, so much. Life has become complicated on its own, and I can no longer just be. I have to think hard about the consequences my actions will bring, and not just to me, but to others as well. Plus, I can no longer act with my heart without giving my head some participation, now it has to be the other way around. It is sad, but it is also the only way I can prevent my heart from being destroyed once more. My only concern is that maybe I will never be able to fully enjoy the situations that life brings. But I cannot let go, I cannot give in, there is too much to risk, and I will not do so.
But how I wish it could be different. How I wish I could just let you in, and how I wish I could just let you stay, for my heart tells me that this would be one of the greatest adventures ever!
Saturday, February 19, 2011
It all seems like a dream, it seems so unreal. Where you really there? Was it really so good? They say that good things are not meant to last. I think they are right, but I am determined to enjoy you as long as you will let me. It feels so odd. I can’t trust my mind. It refuses to accept that you were there, but my body tells me otherwise.
The smell of your perfume on my skin tells me you touched me, my tender lips tell me you kissed me, my aching body tells me you made love to me. You were here. I can still feel you.
It was so good love. It felt so right. I wish it could’ve lasted longer, but like I said, great things are not meant to last. You were not meant to stay. But I am not saddened by that. I know that I will enjoy another moment with you, and that thought for me is enough.
Until then my love, until then.
Posted by Black Widow at 12:13 PM
Monday, February 7, 2011
Your clothes no longer smell of you, I can't hear the echo of your laugh in my hallways. Your kiss no longer lingers on my lips, but I still miss you.
The softness of your touch no longer trails my skin, the sweetness of your voice calls my name no more, and no more am I enthralled by you.
You are a live ghost in my house, a real illusion in my days and a timeless clock in my nights.
I lie awake in my bed wishing for what we once had, but exists no more, because you are gone, but I still miss you, I miss you so.
I know you're not coming back, you can't. Darkness fell the day you left, the skies cried because you went away, and my soul followed you to that place where I can't go.
Many years have passed, many days have gone by, but I still miss you. And now you are forever gone.
Sent via BlackBerry® device.
Posted by Black Widow at 4:37 PM
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Two different ways to love, two different ways to kiss, two different ways to touch, one thing in common.
Two different ways to talk, to different ways to look, two different reasons to be, one thing in common.
Two different goals in life, two different points of view, two different ways to feel, one thing in common.
One lacks what the other has, one says what the other holds back, one thinks the way the other should, one expresses what the other restrains.
Two different roads to walk upon, only one person to decide which one to take.
This is what they call a crossroads. One way has to be chosen, one road has to be taken, no room for both, just one. But which?
Posted by Black Widow at 6:16 AM