Love Quotes

It was only a moment, but in that moment I loved you more than I will ever love anyone in a lifetime.

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Our Life's Story - Chapter 9

Kathy was shocked by the news and unable to utter a word. Silence fell between them, and a million thoughts ran through Kathy’s head, however only one question was able to come out.
Joey was looking down at her hands and two long tears ran down her face.
-He has a brain tumor.-
-How did you… I mean when did he?-
Kathy lost her voice again. After Michael had told Joey he was dying and explained everything, she had told him that she needed some time for herself, to organize herself. She went for a walk and without knowing ended up at Kathy’s place. As soon as Kathy saw her face she knew something was wrong, but this was the last thing she expected.
-Last night he showed up un my apartment. I was so tired of the whole drama that I did not fight anymore and we spent the night together. What should’ve been the best day of my life turned quickly into my worst nightmare. This morning, he sat me down and told me that he had called the wedding off and broken it with Cindy, but there was something else, you know I could see it in his eyes, so when I asked him he told me that he loved me very much and that he was very sorry. He told me he had a brain tumor and it was inoperable. He had already been to many specialists and they had all told him the same thing, that there was nothing they could do. He could submit himself to some trial medications to see if it worked, but that was his best shot, if he did undergo surgery he had a 0.4% of making it out alive, and with that odds he did not want to risk it.
Kathy sat there staring at Joey; she could barely believe what she was saying. They heard movement on the back and turned, Jack was standing there looking at them with sympathy in his eyes.
-You knew.
It was a statement rather than a question. Kathy looked at him and did not need to hear an answer to know. He had known all along. The one to speak next was Joey, and to everyone’s surprise her voice was calm.
-How come you did not say anything or hint at it?
-Because Michael made me swear. He made me promise him that I would not tell a living soul, not even you, unless anything catastrophic happened. I am so sorry Joey.
-Is there really nothing anyone can do?
-No. He has already tried everything.
Kathy turned to Joey and took her hands in hers.
-How long does he have?
-From what he told me the doctors say he is like a time bomb, it could be anywhere from 3 to 6 months, but they don’t think he will last longer than 6 months.
Joey then turned to Jack
-Why didn’t he tell me sooner?
Jack looked at her and half smiled.
-He hoped he didn’t have to burden you with this. He insisted on the marriage with Cindy because he felt he would be hurting you too much if he gave himself to you and then left you alone. He loves you so much Joey. He hoped he could be out of your hair and set you free for someone, who really deserves you. Or at least that is what he thought. Until a couple of weeks ago, after the night you two spent together, he told me he realized then that he could never do this without you. That he had understood that the only reason he kept on trying was because of you. He really loves you Joey, more than his own life and right now he is scared, really scared.
When Jack finished talking both Kathy and Joey were crying. It took them a while to say anything but when the silence broke Joey’s voice was still calm but somewhat shaking.
-I should go back. I really don’t know how to react to all this, but I know I want to be with him. Now that I know I have a limited time, I want to take advantage of it as much as I can.
-Will you be ok Jo?
-I think so, I will call you later. Bye Jack.
After Joey left silence fell again in the room. Jack not being able to see Kathy like that went to the couch and just hug her.
-It’s not fair Jack, they are finally able to move on, to be happy, and this happens. It is not fair.
-I know. I know.
He was really unable to say anything else, he also thought the same. They just stayed there, holding each other.

Joey got to her house and found Michael sitting on the couch, his elbows on his knees and his hands on his face.  He looked so helpless like that. She went over to the couch and sat next to him, not saying anything; she took his hand in hers and whispered in his ear:
-I love you. I really don’t know how we are going to deal with this; all I know is whatever time you have left I will be here with you.
Michael looked up at her and that’s when she noticed he was crying. This was really hurting him and it really was too much for him to deal with alone. She also saw relief in his eyes, he was not alone anymore, and she was with him.

-Are you sure you want to put that there?-
Jack’s voice came from the door to Joey’s apartment that now she and Michael shared. It was Christmas time already and they were putting up the tree; Joey was trying to put on a Christmas ball in a very high place.
-you guys made it!
-We would not miss it for the world- Kathy was coming in now with a bag full of presents.  She went straight to her friend and gave her a huge hug.
After that day Kathy had realized that no matter how much Jack had hurt her in the past she loved him too much and needed to be with him. He still had not explained why he had left, but she felt she no longer needed to know. So they had started going out again and it had been a wonderful month.
-So where is my brother from another mother-?
-Here I am!- Michael came from one of the rooms, he looked good. Somehow acknowledging his feelings for Joey and living with her had made him in a way healthier, happier. And the love between the two of them could not be more noticeable, just like between Jack and Kathy. They were a true family and that night they were celebrating that.
-So what are we having for dinner Jo?-
-It is so like you Kat to always ask for food, but if you must know we are having a true Dominican meal, roast pork, white rice, green salad, green beans with coconut, and just for you, your platanos al caldero.-  Joey and the guys were smiling and in Kathy’s eyes there was a gleam.
-Is the food ready yet?-
-Maybe... hungry dear?- Michael was now teasing her.
-If you know what’s good for you brother, you will not tease this woman when she is hungry.-
-Well in that case, why don’t you all join me at the table and we get this thing started?
They sat down in the table and Michael was the one who proceeded to say Grace. After he was done they all started to eat. Kathy was the one who enjoyed the meal the most, like always when it came to food. It was indeed a great night for them.  Michael offered to clear the table while Joey, Kathy and Jack finished putting up the tree. They were in the living room when they heard something break and ran to the kitchen; Michael was laying on the floor unconscious.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Happy Ending to all!

And now to close the year with a bang!
 This has been a year of changes, over all. Of big, small, crazy changes. This has been a year where strengths have been tested, wills have been broken, arrogant people have been humiliated, humble people have been rewarded. This has been a year of sorrows and happiness, of great times and horrible times. It has been a year of many learning’s, of newly acquired friendships, or reviving old flames, of reaching out to forgotten people, of letting go of those who no longer matter. It has been a year of realization, of being proven wrong, of finding out your instinct was right, of getting rid of excess baggage, or admitting those buried truths, of discovering your true self, and accepting and loving you for you.
I guess what I am trying to say is that is has been a year full of life.
So as this phase comes to an end, let us remember the good and the great, forget about the bad, and cherish the special, for it will always help us carry on at difficult times.
Saying goodbye for now and hello to all the new adventured this brand new year promises to bring.
Your one and only: Dark Widow.
Happy New Years everyone, may you have an unforgettable time with that one special person that deserves your all.
Blessed be.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Our Life's Story - Chapter 8

The next day Jo was woken up by the smell of coffee and the distant sound of china. She reached to her left side wanting to touch Micheal and realized he was no longer there, so finally recognizing the smell chose to get up and walked to the kitchen.
She found him there with his bear back to her. That sight alone made her tremble, specially because of his tattoo. He had a sort of Tribal/Dragon, with a Japanese inscription on the bottom Tattoo. She had asked him, right after he had it done, why he had chosen that, and he had answered that to him it represented the life he had led, and the person he had become. The letters in the bottom spelled Endurance.
Every time she saw it she was reminded of the wonderful person he was, how strong he had to be after his father had left him and his brother, while they were very young, and his mother had fallen ill. How he had become a man while still being a child and how he had sacrificed himself working and studying at the same time to be able to maintain, support his family and help his brother become someone. She admired him for his courage, his persistence.

As if perceiving her gaze upon him, he turned around and their eyes met. Immediately they felt a current run through their bodies. To him she was the most beautiful thing on earth. Even in her just-woke-up-tousled-hairdo, to him, she was just perfect.

He poured some coffee into her cup and handed it to her, leaning over and giving her the most gentle kiss on her lips.

-Good morning, love-

-Good morning.-

They sat on the table face to face, enjoying their coffee and each others company. There was something in his gaze though, some sort of expectation, or worry, Jo could not make it out, but she did not like what she saw.

-What's wrong Michael? You have that look?

-What look?

-The one you get when you are about to dump some bad news on me.

-I swear, sometimes I think you are up in my head.

-No, I just really know you. So, what is going on?

She put her cup down and looked at him straight in the eye.

-Is it about Cindy? Are you already regretting this, again?- Jo was starting to go into a hysterical mode, bu Michael grabbed her hands and kissed them, then took her chin with his fingers and spoke slowly.

-This has nothing to do with Cindy. This morning before you woke up I called her and told her that I needed to speak to her in person, she went hysterical because she could not understand why I had canceled the wedding, and insisted on me telling her why I had done it.-

Jo had her mouth half open and her heart was racing like crazy, he had called off the wedding! how come he had not told her? Is that why he and Jack were so tense the night before? What the hell happened? Was he finally willing to go all the way with her? Was he now 100% sure of what he wanted? She wanted to ask so many questions but with a huge effort decided to let him go on and say everything he had to before she spoke.

-Go on...

-Well she kept on insisting so I told her that I could not go through with the wedding because I didn't really love her. That I was in love with you, and that I could no longer run from it.-

Jo was about to go crazy. Did she hear him right? He said he loved her, and had called the wedding off, because of her!

-I told Cindy that it would not be fair for her if I married her like that, knowing that I was in love with you.-

Barely able to speak, Jo tried to settle her racing heart and asked him what Cindy had said.

-Well she screamed at me, spat insults before unknown to me, said that she had always known that I was in love with you, and that she should have listened to her mother in the first place, and never even looked at a such a low-life-useless-son-of-a-bastard and then hung up on me.- He finished it off with a shrug.

Taking her time to absorb all he was saying, Jo kept on looking at him. Suddenly she jumped at him and started kissing him all over. then found his lips and gave him the most passionate of kisses, making his whole body respond to her, and knowing that if she did not stop they would not be able to continue talking and would end up in bed again.
When she separated from him there was a gleam in his eyes, a gleam of pure lust, but then it was replaced with something else, something she could not decipher. She pulled him back and asked

-What? What are you not telling me?

He grabbed her hands and led her to the chair in front of him, pulling it a little closer, so the would be face to face again.

-Jo, there is something else I need to tell you.

For some reason Jo felt the temperature drop. She was really worried. What could he have to say that was so bad?

Michael looked down for a minute, not really knowing  how to say it, but knew he had to tell her. It would not be fair to Jo if he didn't. So he gathered all his courage and told her.

-Jo, I'm sick. I am very sick.

-What do you mean, is it like a bad flu or something? You are scaring me Michael.

He took her hands in his.

-Jo, I'm dying...

Sunday, December 26, 2010

An ending is near...

Maybe it's the holidays season and all that it brings, but I find myself overwhelmed with emotions.
My heart feels like it's beating harder and faster than ever. Tears roll down my eyes freely, yet it is not of sadness, but not of happiness either, more like longing, wanting, missing, remembering, feeling again.
Longing for what I once had; Wanting what I know I deserve; Missing those who are no longer by my side, but left a part of them with me and took a piece of my soul with them; Remembering all those times I spent with the ones that are here and the ones that no longer are, those times I laughed, those times I cried and the times I held back or gave it all; and of course feeling again nostalgic, happy, sad, joyful, thankful, hopeful...

Great times have gone by; devastating times are finally over; difficult times are still yet to come; challenging moments await for us in the future; the joy of life will always be there; rewarding days wait to arrive and wonderful, loving minutes stand by, waiting for us to recognize and enjoy them.

Maybe it is the holidays season... But I miss you... All of you.
Love always

Me and all the names all of you know me by.

Saturday, December 25, 2010


How can I miss you, If I've never met you?
How can I want you, If I've never had you?
how can I care about you, if I've never loved you?
How can I think of you, if I don't know who you are?
How can I miss a kiss, if I've never felt your lips?
How can I miss your touch, if I've never felt your hands?
How can I miss your warmth, if I've never known your embrace?
How can I miss loving you, if I have never known you?

Friday, December 24, 2010

I can't write...

There are so many things I want to say, so many things I want to write, about you. About the way you treat me, about the way you look at me, about the way you make me laugh, about the way you make me feel special, about how even though I know that is exactly what I deserve, I still feel something pulling me back, a little alarm in my head saying "hold it, don't do it"

I want to write about how frustrated I feel about how you seem to be so good, but the fear of you being too good to be true takes over. I want to write about my overwhelming feeling of joy and at the same time the forced restrain I put on that joy, about the way I force myself not to feel.

I guess in the end it all comes down to the same fear. I wish I could get myself to write about it all. But the words wont come out, my fingers wont type them, my head wont organize them in a logical way. And in that mess that I become, I can't write about what I want to, about how I feel, about my inner fears, about my joy, about my dreams, about you, or about me.

But funny enough, I think I just did.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Fear of Love

We are afraid to open our hearts mostly out of fear. Fear of not living up to the other persons expectations, fear of giving it our all and not being corresponded by the one we choose, fear of in the end having our dreams and hopes shattered by someone who did not care enough for what we offered. So we guard it so well because of fear.

It takes time for us to understand that without loss there is no gain, and that in order for us to really experience the wonders of love we have to give it our all without holding back, just dive into the abyss and trust that at the bottom that other person will be there to hold us, and the event there is no one then we will have learned a valuable lesson, we must choose carefully which cliff to dive from so the fall wont hurt so much, but never forget to dive.

It has taken me a while to realize that, for a time (for most of my very short adult life) I have guarded my heart in a titanium  vault so that no one ever reaches it or tries to break it. I have loved and I have been hurt, but I know that because I have held back so much there is a lot I am yet to experience, and that I am open to. I want to experience it all, in its fullest, I want to lower my walls and let it in. But I must confess I am still scared, for when it hurts, it kills.

But I am still willing to take on the adventure. I know it will be a truly rewarding, gratifying, fulfilling and of course loving experience, and who would deny themselves the pleasure of such a thing?

Friday, December 3, 2010

Our Life's Story - Chapter 7

-Ok so this is officially done! Yes!  It was almost 2 am in the morning, on a Saturday and Kathy, Jack, Michael and Joey were all together finalizing the details of the campaign before its launch on Monday. The four of them wanted the weekend to just relax and spent all Friday night and the very early hours of Saturday morning working on it.
-I can’t believe it! We can finally have a day off! Joey was thrilled. She sure needed the rest.
They had worked been working nonstop for two months now, especially because Jack had insisted that her company also take over the restructuring of the Restaurant, and help him find a new look for it. She had been able to do so, because not long ago she had incorporated a small interior design team to work for her.
-And how is the restructuring going? Michael who for some strange reason was standing a bit too close to Joey, or so she thought, had spoken, and to Joey his voice had sounded way too sexy and way too close to her ear, even though everyone had heard clearly.
-Everything is already in place. Jack had been the one to answer, looking straight into Kathy’s eyes and smiling at the same time. –The final touches were given today, and the place looks fantastic, you will see it soon enough. The team you have is wonderful. I was thinking we should do something to show our thanks for all the hard work they have put into this.
- I think we should wait until the campaign is launched and see the results of it. I am eager to see it. I had never worked so hard on a campaign before, it feels almost as this is my baby.- Kathy was truly excited, she had indeed worked real hard on this one. In part because for some reason her creativity had been really flowing and great ideas had surfaced during the brainstorming sessions, and in part also because it was Jack. It took her some time to admit it, but because it was him she had put her heart into making this perfect.
Jack agreed to wait but not before getting her to commit to it, and the other two as well. –You have to promise you won’t back down. I really want to show your team how grateful I am, and I want to show you how much I appreciate everything you have done and all the effort you have put into this.- Jack was looking straight into Kathy’s eyes and for a moment she forgot that Joey and Michael were there, she forgot that Jack had hurt her, she forgot about everything, she only saw him, she got lost in those eyes, and for a moment, a very brief moment, she felt good, like she had not felt in a while.  Jack took one minimal step forward to get closer to her. Joey was looking at them knowing that if she did not stop this something bad would happen, but as she tried to speak Michael took her by the arm and forced her to look at him, she then too got lost.
For a moment that seemed eternal, there was silence in that office, no one moved, not a word was spoken, the only sound being that of their breathing.
The silence was broken by the fax machine and the magical atmosphere went away, bringing them back to reality.
Jack and Michael were the ones to speak, both at the same time –Saved by the bell-
Kathy took a couple of steps back and so did Joey.
-We should go, it is late and I for once can’t wait to get to my bed and just sleep it off until noon- Kathy was saying this more to herself than to any of them.  Joey looked at her thanking her in silence.
They all said their goodbyes and went their separate ways.
About 15 minutes later Kathy got to her house and felt this vast emptiness, as she closed the door and looked around her living room she noticed that something was missing. Jack was missing in it. She took her cell phone out wondering what would happen if she just let go for once and called him, asked him to be there with her.  She closed the phone again, not daring to make the call. Her pride was bigger than her will, and she just hated herself for it. She started to her room when she heard the doorbell ring. Thinking that it was Jo she went to the door and started saying
-I knew you would end up here- But as the last words came out she was shocked to see Jack standing in her door, looking like a sad, hurt puppy. Her heart escaped a beat and when he raised his head their eyes locked.
There was nothing to say, and at that moment, loosing herself again in those beautiful eyes, she decided to give up, just give up and let him in, once more. Her heart was the one making all the choices now. She extended her hand and he gave her his. With that she led him into her house, into her room, and let him in once ore into her heart. Well he never really left.
On the other side of the city Jo was also having trouble adjusting to the silence in her house. It was amazing how silence could be so loud. She was coming out of the shower when she heard a noise in her living room. Scared to death and not really stopping to think about anything she stepped off the shower, passed by her bed, picked up a wrench she had in her bathroom and went over to the living room, thinking that a thief had broken into her house.
The living room was dark, but she made out the silhouette of the man standing there, trying to make his way to the kitchen. She got closer and right before she was about to take the blow the man turned on the lights and she saw Michael. He heard her and turned around to see her standing there with the wrench in her hand, and naked.
-What on earth are you doing here? And what is it with you and creeping into my house? I knew I should’ve taken that key from you!-
-Maybe. But then I would not enjoy seeing you like that, which is a beautiful sight!- He said it half smiling, half turned on. Joey immediately, turned red, but instead of covering herself just stood there looking at him. She wanted him, and she wanted him to look at her. Like that, like he had looked at her that night. So instead, she straightened up.
-Like what you see? - Her voice was soft and full of lust. It was an invitation  more than anything. She did not care that he was engaged, he still had not told her that he had called the wedding off. She did not care about anything. She wanted him, that night, in her bed, with her. She wanted to forget, she needed to forget.
He took a step closer to her, looking at her in the eyes all the time.
-I love what I see; I love it very much, especially because I love you. - He had decided to tell Joey everything that night, about the engagement, about his love for her, and about his disease. But it was getting rather difficult seeing her like that. She was seducing him, and he was letting her.
He took a step closer, and took her by the waist, pulling her to him. He loved the way her skin felt, warm, soft. Not helping it any more, he just took her lips into his and lost himself in her, and she lost herself in him. It was enough for them to go to that place only they could.
He lifted her in his arms and took her to the bedroom, where they could forget together about everything and just be themselves.