Monday, September 27, 2010
In just a few seconds she not only gave in but responded claiming what was hers. Their body temperature started rising and their hands moved against each other in a frantic way, touching, feeling, wanting. He grabbed the back of her head and pulled her hair a bit so that her head tilted back and her neck was revealed. He then kissed her neck, giving her little bites.
-God! she tasted so good!- He kept thinking.
She was lost in this lust they had.
They started undressing each other in such a hurry. They were eager for each other, it had been too many years, too much had happened, and they had denied themselves this pleasure for too long. She took his shirt off and her hands admired the muscled torso and the perfect six packs. She then went down to his pants and unbuttoned them, letting them fall to the floor. What she saw sent her pulse racing. He was so hard and it was because of her, she took his underwear off and for a minute just stared. She could not help herself so she kissed his belly, going sideways to his waist bones and then taking in her mouth his virility. He let out a moan and she felt even hotter. She wanted him. He pushed her head back a little and lifted her up, carried her so that her legs were wrapped around his waist and placed her in her desk. She was already completely undressed so he set her legs apart and returned the favor. She was going crazy, not being able to scream, she felt she was going to faint because of the pleasure.
-Wait! Wait!- She moaned, but he would not stop, suddenly he lifted his head and she felt both relived and empty because it had stopped, but then he possessed her and she was gone. Over and over he made her explode in a wave of sensations unknown to her before.
She was dazed by the events; he was holding her, giving her little kisses in the neck. She realized what had happened and pushed him aside to collect her clothes. They were getting dressed in complete silence when he decided to break it.
-What does this mean?- He was buttoning his shirt and looked at her. She did not answer, she kept on dressing herself so he insisted this time grabbing her by the arm and asking again -What does this mean Kathy?- She saw something in his eyes that she interpreted as anger. She took her arm from him and answered in a low voice --Nothing, this means nothing, just a moment of weakness from both of us- He stood there unable to speak, looking at her. -It was not weakness from my end, but desire-
-Then it was weakness from mine!- She was furious now, and her eyes were red, tears wanting to come out, she felt dizzy. How could she allow herself to let this happen, hadn't she learned?
-You wanted me as much as I wanted you Kat, you cannot deny that. Why do you lie to yourself?- He was angry, but not so much at her as at himself. He did not plan for things to go this way, he wanted to wait until she was ready, but he could not help himself, he had wanted her so much and his desire had been stronger than his self-restrain.
-Because I won't allow myself to believe in you again, I will not allow my feelings to take over the reality of things. Because I will not fall for your lies again, you did enough damage the first time and I am not the naive and stupid girl I was 8 years ago and now please leave.- He stood for a moment looking at her, she stood his gaze but tears were now running down her cheek, and for the first time he saw in her eyes how much he had hurt her, how much damage he had cause by leaving and how difficult it would now be to gain her trust back, but he had to try. He was hurting and hating himself for the way he had acted and the pain he had caused her. He did not say a word; he took his jacket and headed for the door. Before he left he just said -I never meant to cause you so much pain, I never meant for that night to turn out the way it did, and I do have my reasons for leaving, I just hope that one day you will lower your barriers enough to let me explain. And also, I never lied about loving you, I hope you know that. - With that he left.
She stood there trying to regain her strength and for the first time in 8 years she cried again, she cried like that day when she woke up to find herself alone in bed and Jack gone.
-What the hell are you doing here and how the fuck did you get in?- Joey had just arrived at her apartment when she found Michael standing in her living room, hands in his pants pockets, waiting for her.
-I wanted to talk to you about last night and today-
-What for, shouldn't you be talking to your fiancée instead.-
Michael was staring at her. He made a sign for her to seat down, she only followed because she could see plea in his eyes.
-I want to know why you left this morning- His voice was calm, which made Joey even angrier. As if he didn't know.
-Do you have to ask? You are e-n-g-a-g-e-d. Or have you forgotten about her?-
-That is not the reason, you couldn't care any less about her, and I would not blame you. Why did you leave? Joey hated that he knew her so much, but he was right, she left because she got scared, she left because she felt overwhelmed. She had wanted that to happen for so long and now that it did she did not know how to react. She had seen herself in his eyes, and for the first time she knew he had seen her for who she really was. She was so lost in thought that she had not realized he was now sitting next to her and was holding one of her hands. When she spoke she found that her voice was strained, and the real agony she felt was noticeable.
-Why did you provoke me last night? I would've gone home if you had not taken the keys from me, I would've just left and we would still be the best of friends and right now you would be at her house talking about your wedding. Why didn't you let me leave? Why now?
By the time she finished the sentence her voice was cracking. His hands had become cold and sweaty and she could feel his heartbeat starting to race. She noticed his lips were dry and in spite of her anger towards him all she could think about was getting them moist with a kiss.
-I don't know Jo, I am confused. I mean I know I love my fiancée, but last night was special. I have always loved you and you know that, you have been my unconditional friend forever and we have always backed each other up.- He was stuttering, as if it was difficult for him to find the words to explain what was going on.
-Only you are able to insult me in such way. You say you love me but that what happened last night was not meant to happen. You say you are confused so let me help you out here. - She was so angry that her voice now dropped to a bare hiss. -You do not need to do anything for me, what happened last night will be forgotten and you are off the hook. You can now go back to your little slave and plan your wedding, and don't you worry, I will still be there and I will congratulate you when you come out of the church as her husband. I will remain your servant friend, but remember this; I did not provoke you, it was the other way around. You think about that and I hope it haunts you for the remainder of your years. Now please be as kind as to leave me alone since I have to sort out my thoughts. And you do not need to worry about my behavior at work, I will be the most professional person in the world and I expect for you to at least give me that much.-
She had stood up and opened the door for him to leave. For a minute he hesitated but then seeing how determined she was he just stood up and went to the door, before leaving he said "I am not sorry for last night Joey, I am just sorry I not able to figure it out" and with that he left.
Joey closed the door behind him and fell to the floor; suddenly her knees could not support her body. Tears were running down her cheek. She stayed there for a while and when she was finally able to pick up the phone she contacted Kathy.
-Do you mind coming over? I could really use the company- Joey noticed Kathy's voice was low and figured something must've happened.
-Are you ok, sweetie? - Kathy unable to conceal her pain and answered in a strained voice.
-No. I think this is the first time in 8 years I actually admit it. No I am not OK. I'll tell you about it when I get there.-
Sunday, September 26, 2010
I once asked you if you were really there for me and your answer was a question in itself. Rather than clearing my doubts it just created more confusion. And then it was over and you let me go.
Everything you had said, everything you had promised became a lie, everything became dark and unsure. Nothing seemed real.
Why did you let me go, why did you not fight for me? You had promised to love me, to cherish me, to be there, and then you weren't.
You never followed me, you never made an effort, you never even spoke up. So in reality all I can conclude is that you never really loved me and that all I was to you was a means to an end.
That makes me sad. But I am grateful. I am grateful I loved you, I am grateful for what I had when with you and for what I became after.
So, in the end I want to thank you for breaking my heart, because now I can mend it with the greatest gift ever. The gift of life!
Sent via BlackBerry® device.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
I wonder how it tastes. I wonder how it feels. Is it sweet, is it soft, is it wet? I wonder if it can make me tremble, if it can make me moan? I wonder if before, during or after I will feel the air leave my lungs, if my heart will race and my body will burn? And I wonder if when we reach the point, my toes will curl from the emotion..
And then I wonder, if I will ever know.
It's been a while since I wrote to you. You must surely know why.
I hope that this letter finds you well, though I know that may not be the case. I know you must be confused, troubled and lost. I know there is so much you still don't understand, and I know that, like me, you are fighting those disturbing feelings and going on pretending that everything is ok. I also know that you say things but don't mean them, and half of what you say is not truly what you mean or what you think. That is ok! You are not alone.
But please, grant me these couple of minutes to say some things ease the worry and remind you of some other things you may have forgotten.
First I love you and I know you love me, though that does not mean we are "in love", hope you understand the difference between the two. We have come so far as individuals, lost some things along the way, gained so many more and changed what we think needed to change, but the best part is that have hung on to those things that really matter, and one of them is the memory of the love we once shared.
Sometimes I still dream of it, and I am not going to be so hypocrite as to deny that sometimes I still think of you. But as much as that may happen I am also smart enough to recognize that certain things are meant to pass. We were one of them. We may not have been meant to stay together, but we were meant to be the most beautiful thing that ever happened to one another.
Anyways, I dream of the time that was, of the happiness that we shared, of how we became one. And it makes me happy, immensely happy to know that we got to experience it.
I am at peace knowing that you have found someone that understands you, that loves you, that tolerates those traits that she may not agree with at times. I am happy to know that you are now where you want to be, and that you have made so much of yourself. I am proud of you, of the person you are today.
I want you to know that I am happy. Yes! I am. Maybe not that happiness that people see in the movies. Happily ever afters are not like that, they are more like Mostly-Happily-Sometimes-After. But those are good enough. I was blessed with an angel that keeps me busy, and that angel has been my salvation. I am happy, but I am human after all, and like all may have my weak days, but rest assured that I am happy. That is what I wanted you to know. Everything I said before is what I wanted you to remember.
The reason I wanted you to remember what it was, is so that you can also keep those wonderful moments with you, and remember always that you are a wonderful person, a great friend and a magnificent partner. I just pray that the person you have now knows it.
I will forever love you. You were my first, my sweet first, my dream, my reality, the one who helped me understand me a little more; the one who was always there, and who even now is still here by my side.
You may have been my lover, but through the years have become my most valuable friend, and for that I thank the Heavens.
Be happy, always.
A piece of my heart will forever be yours.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Have you ever had one of those days when you wake up and the pain is so real that you feel it in you skin. It takes the air out of your lungs and you can barely breathe; it takes control of you thoughts, owns your body, to the point you can't stop trembling. It manifests itself in every step you take. It is so unbearable you feel like you can't take it. You feel like shouting wont be enough?
It is so real that no matter what you do you cant even walk. This pain I feel is just like that. No amount of tears is enough to wash it out of my body, no matter how hard I shout, it still hangs on to me, and no matter how strong I try to be it crawls under my skin and defeats me from inside.
I can't anymore, I just can't.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
I have come to a point in my life where I am so confused I feel as if I was a teenager all over again. I am my own spirit of contradiction.
I feel lonely, yet I don't want my space to be invaded by anyone else, I cherish my time alone, though I wish I could come home to that special person.
I want to be with someone, but I don't want to have to explain myself to that person. I want to be heard, but I don't want to talk. I want to be seen, but I hide in the shadows.
I want to be loved, yet I am unwilling to give my heart to anyone, nor to open myself.
I want to love, but I just can't. I want to get close to a person, but I don't want to share my life. I am so confused an abstract painting would make more sense than my thoughts right now.
But I think I am not the only one, or am I?
Sent via BlackBerry® device.
All I wonder is I'd time will help me. I wonder if with time I will be able to forget about this love I have inside, if it will be replaced for something else, for something that does not hurt so much.
Will time take away the pain of your kisses. The strain of your touch, the hurt of your words, the torture of your eyes.
Will time ever be on my side, even if just once.
However what I wonder the most is, will time ever bring you back to me?
Sent via BlackBerry® device.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
I love you.
Monday, September 13, 2010
This I took from a friend's wall.. hope you enjoy!
It is not the words I miss, it's the conversations
It is not saying them I miss, it's meaning them
It is not seeing things I miss, it's feeling them
It is not tasting things I miss, it's savouring them
It is not sleeping I miss, it's dreaming the impossible
It is not expecting I miss, it's wishing
It is not laughing I miss, it's being happy
I guess what I want to say it's that in the end is not life I miss, it's living it!!
She did not know why but she could not get to feel comfortable in his bed. She laid there wishing he would fall asleep so she could stand up and leave without him noticing it. She would leave a note with some silly excuse and explain herself in the morning, he believed anything she said anyways, so she really didn't have to make that big of an effort.
Fortunate for her, he fell asleep an hour after. He must've been sleeping really deeply since he did not even flinch as she stood up. Once she was out of the bed she looked back to stare at him for a moment and wondered how she had come to this. This man lying in front of her was not the man she loved. In fact, he was totally different from the one she had fallen in love with. But she had to make haste before he realized she was not in bed and wake up to ask her to get in again. So she put on whatever of her clothes she found and made it to the door. She was able to get out silently and head for her own place without a call. So it must mean he did not notice.
Once in her house, she felt a bit relived but also a bit guilty. Her thoughts had not left her alone all the way to her place. That man kept on coming to her head. That man which she had fallen in love with, so fast, and that same man who had left her life without trace, so soon. She still remembered him, and those steamy nights they shared together. She still remembered how he caressed her and looked at her in the eyes, with that look that made her feel like she owned the world. She still remembered his hair and how unruffled it would be in the mornings after he woke up. The many jokes he made and the way only he had to bring a smile to her face every time she felt bad.
He was there with her every day and she was with him always.
She made it to her room and sat in the bed for a while, reminiscing on that last night they had been together. If only she had known it was going to be their last… maybe she would have acted different, maybe she would have said more, and maybe she would've said what she really wanted to and not kept it to herself.
If only… but now it was too late. She remembered how after they had finished she had stayed on top of him and by accident fallen asleep. She had laid her head on his shoulder and he had put his arms around her back, all the while caressing it. When she woke up a couple of min later (or so she thought) she had made and attempt to go beside him, but he had whispered in her ear to stay there, to sleep a bit more, so she did. Again she accommodated her head on his shoulder and fell asleep. Some minutes after she had woken up again and this time did manage to go to his side and lay with her face towards him. He had the TV turned on and was looking at some movie, but when she slid to his side, he looked at her and took his hand to her face; slowly he caressed her check and kissed her on the forehead. This was something he had never done before and right then she had felt like saying the words that for so long had been caught up in her throat. But once more she pushed them back and fell asleep one last time. By the time she had woken up he was no longer there. He had left, and she did not know were to. She knew then that night had been the last, and then and there she cried, she cried for all the times she would never get to see him again and for all the times she would never get to say what she truly wanted, how she truly felt. Then she understood that too late we realize that the people that are most precious to us, often leave us too soon.
Monday, September 6, 2010
They got to the office just in time for the meeting. The team was already assembled but since Jack had not arrived Kathy advised them to go back to their stations. She thought it better if at first it was just Jack, Joey and her, so they could lay out the plan structure and then delegate responsibilities. This way she ensured a better time management and maximized production in her company. Once they left, Joey turned to Kathy and with a very "I can't believe that creep is here look" she said:
-OK so where is Mr I-am-with-you-one-day-and-then-I-leave-you-to-come-back-years-after-and-not-give-an-explanation? Joey had always been too quick with her words and had not noticed Jack had arrived and was standing right behind her.
-So, still the same Joey, quick with her words and judging the world for their past mistakes. I take it you girls were out talking guys? Joey got a bit startled but turned slowly to face him and gave him a tried innocent look, but her voice was full of sarcasm.
-Why Mr Sommerset, how kind of you to join us and how so like you to assume you should have any importance in our lives to think even for a second that we waste our very valuable time talking about insignificant people.- Kathy was almost laughing out loud. Joey was one to react like that. Jack far from being disturbed by this, returned Joey's sarcastic smile and responded with the kindest voice.
-Well Mrs Stone I see you are still the same charming self you have always been, of course added a few bars to your delightful personality, I am glad you still stand for those whom you believe in.- He then made a dismissive hand gesture to Joey and directed his attention to Kathy. -Now Miss Spencer you are very lucky to have Miss Stone as your friend, just advise her to back up a bit. You would not want her scaring off a once in a lifetime opportunity.- Kathy did not miss the very well concealed annoyance Jack felt, but let it go and pointed them to their seat, giving each of them a look they very well understood, and they dropped it.
-So since we all know each other there is no need for introductions. Now getting down to business... Before Kathy could complete the phrase, Jack interrupted her.
-There is still one more person missing in here.- Both Kathy and Joey showed surprise in their faces. For all they knew they were the only ones involved in this campaign. Looking at the question in their eyes he decided to answer. -I want one of my friends who is a very good creative to work with us.- Joey and Kathy looked at each other in shock. Before Joey exploded, like Kathy knew she would, she decided to talk first.
-This was not agreed upon when we met yesterday, and you can't just bring anyone you want into this, you hired my services for a reason and with those services come MY team.- She pretended to sound outraged, but she was really calm and more curious than anything. When he talked next he was very straight, he used that tone of voice he uses when trying to get a point across.
-I understand that, however we never agreed that I could not bring anyone aboard, and this guy is very good, he has great ideas and I am sure you will like the way he works. He knows me and thinks like me, so he shares my vision. Besides since I am not going to be able to be here all the time he can definitely help you take the campaign where it needs to go. And you will not need to worry about his expenses, since I have them covered.
Kathy had to admit he was really good at convincing when he wanted to and to be honest she did not see how this could hurt any of them. She turned to Joey and asked her if she would have any inconveniences working with a stranger, to which Joey answered she was quite fine, so Kathy gave the approval. Jack then called this guy on his cel phone and told him to get to the office. Curiosity was now rising in Joey and Kathy, wanting to know who this stranger was, and they asked Jack about him, but he refused to say anything but that they will meet him when he got there and that he was sure they would like him.
They started talking about the game plan when 20 minutes later the door opened. A 6"2' guy came in. Dark hair, squared face, strong athletic body, kind eyes, and very stylish. Kathy first took a glance but when thought he looked familiar looked again, then she noticed. She quickly turned to Joey and saw her face was pale and she was frozen. It was Michael!
-Joey, you have to calm down! oh I could just punch those bastards! come on, lets just go out and have a drink and a nice time, forget about this day.- As soon as Michael had come into the office Joey had somehow lost her ability to speak and make sense. They had tried in vain to elaborate some type of game plan, but things went from bad to worse between them. Things started unraveling and in no time the anger that was hidden came out. Michael accused Joey of being a coward, Kathy accused Jack of being immature and nosy, Jack accused Michael of being insensible, Joey accused Jack of being an plain asshole, Michael accused Kathy of being a self-centered hypocrite who backed up Joey's mistakes a bit too much, Kathy accused Michael of being blind to what was in front of him, Jack accused Kathy of coming to her own conclusions and not letting anyone explain their reasons for acting the way they did, Michael accused Jack of being naive when it came to women and Jack accused Joey of being too afraid of reality. So everything turned into a messed-up sort of divorce session without the lawyers. Kathy then too angry to even think said that the meeting was over and they would reconvene when things were calmer and they were able to communicate like human beings. Joey and her left the room and left the two men to sort things out between them. How could Jack bring Michael into this? He knew what had happened between him and Joey and now for some reason decided to play God or matchmaker, who knows. How could he have been so stupid not to know how this would turn up, or how could she had not known, after all Michael and Jack had been good friends since like forever.
-How can you keep your cool? I just want to make those two suffer. The nerve! Accusing me of being afraid, a coward! and you!! accusing you of being a self-centered-hypocrite just because you support me.- Joey was still outraged and nothing Kathy did was helping. -He has no idea why I left, and I have never judged him for being such a hypocrite. He called me a coward but he has not stopped to think that maybe it was just too much for me especially because I have been in love with him all this time and finally something happened, something I did not expect! God! I...- Joey lost her voice and tears started running down her face. They were tears of impotence. -If you don't mind Kat, I just want to go home, all of a sudden I feel too tired to do anything.- Kathy knew Joey needed some time alone so she let her go and went back to her office to try and finish some paperwork, though she could not get the incident out of her head. When she reached her office she noticed Jack was sitting in the long couch to the right wall with his elbows on his knees and his head down. He used to take this position when he was truly worried about something, but she was not about to let him off the hook so easily.
-What are you still doing here? Shouldn't you be somewhere with your buddy cursing women out? And haven't you had enough for a day anyways? She was really upset at him and did not care that she sounded harsh. After all he had said that she came to her own conclusions about people and never gave them a chance, so why not live up to that accusation?
-I wanted to talk to you about what happened in there.- He did not lift his head up and his voice was low and tired. It seemed he really felt bad of how things went, but she was too angry to back up, she just wanted to chew him a new one and throw him out of the office.
-You have more names you want to call me? I thought you were very explicit in there.- She was angry and now she was being sarcastic to the T. She was tired of all the games with him.
-I do not wish to take back what I said in there, I meant every part of it. You are too quick to jump to conclusions about people, especially about me, you always have.- This time he lifted his head and she noticed he was really angry, his eyes were different, almost as if he was hurting somehow. He took a deep breath. - That is not the way things were supposed to go. Michael was to come and work with us in the campaign but convenient enough he forgot to tell me that last night he had been with Joey. I promise I did not know, after you and her ran off, I asked him why he was acting like such a prick and he told me what happened last night. I wanted to apologize to you for him and to tell you that I still want him in the team, he is really great and it would be very convenient.- For the first time Kathy believed him.
-I don't have a problem with him working with us but he will have to apologize at least to Joey for what he said, and I meant what I said about our behavior, we will have to act like human beings who at least tolerate each other in order for this to work and for the campaign to be successful.- She was trying real hard to remain angry at him, but failing royally at it. She could feel her blood start to race, because as much as she did not want to admit it, seeing him like that made her want him even more, that vulnerable side of him. He looked directly into her eyes and asked her
-Did you really mean what you said about me, that I was immature and Nosy?-
She was taken by the question, and his look. Those eyes that penetrated her and she could swear they could read every inch of her. For a moment their eyes locked. They were interrupted by Norma who announced she was leaving. Kathy had not realized the time; it must've been already around 6:00 pm. That meant they had gone at each other for quite a while before calling it a day. Kathy, who all this time had been standing in the middle of the office, went to her desk and sat on the edge of it facing Jack. Norma left the office not before locking the door, as she always used to do. It had been Kathy's desire ever since she opened the company that way she did not have anyone interrupting her. Jack looked at her again with the question in his eyes. Kathy now let out a tired sigh and her voice came out softer but still with frustration and anger noticeable.
-Of course I meant it. When I said it in there I believed you to know what had happened, though that is not exactly what I wanted to call you...- She laid the ground for it, hoping he would ask that way she would be able to tell him all those things she had wanted to for about 8 years now. And just like she wished he did ask.
-What exactly did you want to call me?- He knew what was coming but was not about to prevent it. If he ever wanted her back she had to let go of everything she felt and he had to say everything he wanted to, including the reason he left that day 8 years back.
-Well since you ask, I wanted to call you a no-good-insensible-coward-I-like-to-run-from-what-I-supposedly-love-two-time-player.- She finished the sentence with a sweet innocent smile, which he knew she gave whenever she aimed to hurt.
-That is a bit harsh, especially because is not all true.
-Yeah! well you deserve it, but I really don't want to talk about that right now and it is already time for you to leave.- She stood up and walked to the door but towards the middle of the office he stood up came behind her, grabbed her by the arm and turned her to face him. He looked mad or perturbed, she could not make out what was it that she saw there.
-What the hell do you think you are doing?- She demanded while trying to free herself.
-Not talking- and in an instant he pushed his lips against hers and kissed her. His kiss was that of a hungry wolf claiming what is rightfully his. She tried fighting him at first but to no avail.
Joey got defensive, like always when she did something she did not meant to, and hated that Kathy knew her so well.
-Now why do you assume I did something, why can’t it be what someone did to me?- Now Kathy knew for sure she had done something and that it had to do with Joey's eternal impossible, Michael.
Joey had been in love with Michael for as long as they could both remembered, but had always been afraid to tell him. She had even had a long-term relationship with his brother without realizing, until it was too late, that it had been an unconscious attempt to be near Michael. They had broken up almost two years back and now, Kathy knew, it was only a matter of time before anything happened with Michael, being that Joey was obsessing more than ever about him and Michael had been flirting more with her.
-Joey, sweetie remember I know you, so please tell me what happened with Michael last night?- Silence.
-OK, I have a better one for you, I really don't have much to do until 2:00 pm, that I have a meeting with the team, which by the way I could use your help on this one, so why don't we go out and have a ladies morning, some breakfast and do some shopping, that way you can tell me all about what happened with Michael.- sigh.
-I hate it that you know me so well.. OK I'll meet you in the usual spot..-
Kathy left the office and gave Norma instructions on what to do in case anything should rise and not to call her unless it was a true emergency. She also told Norma to gather the team by two o'clock and to contact Jack so he could address the team on his preferences for the upcoming campaign. She got to the Café they always went to and found Joey looking at into a nearby shoe store, but somewhat lost in thought rather than appreciating the beauty of the stilettos in front of her. Kathy knew the inevitable had happened.
-You had sex with him, didn't you?- The question startled Joey and she turned to see Kathy looking at her with that judgmental-pity-I-don't-know-what-else-to-do-with-you look, so Joey gave in.
-Sexual intercourse, exchange of bodily fluids, male mind-blowing orgasms…
-Ok, ok, I get it and I know what you're going to say and I don't care, I had the best time I have ever had in my life, besides how the fuck can you tell? Joey had that mischievous look on her face, and was half smiling, which meant that even though she did not regret it, she was not feeling entirely good about it. Kathy kept quiet, it was Joey's turn to talk and she was there to listen to her and support her. They started walking towards the coffee shop, looking at some shoes but not really paying any attention to them.
-OK, so last night after I left your house he called me and told me he wanted to get together and have a couple of drinks, since we always hang out how was I supposed to know it was going to be any different. Joey was almost hysterical, but Kathy listened intently and let her go on without screaming too much. I met him at our usual liquor store; the guys were also there, so we started drinking. We drank the usual, nothing was any different, we talked, and all of a sudden his brother’s subject came up. He seemed very upset because of the way his brother treated me and how he cheated and all that, you know I really don't care so I let him talk. He went on all night and I just said, "It is in the past I am no longer hung up on him". But then things took a different turn and his voice sounded different, it was more intimate, like he wanted to make a point to me and I just did not get it. He said "you are too special to be treated like that, and anyone who spends two minutes with you will realize that, I don't know how he could do that. I would've never let you go" Normally I would not have paid any attention to it, said thanks and moved on to any other subject, but there was something in his voice, he was talking to me like he would to a lover, and I know!!!. When time came to take everyone home he got in the front seat. I took the guys home and like usual dropped him off last. When we got to his house I parked leaving the car on since I was going to leave right away, but he would not get out. He was looking at me, now at this moment I thought, "Maybe it’s the booze", but there was something in his eyes, it was like a gleam. So I looked at him in an inquiring way. He was just staring, he was staring at ME!! Looking at ME!!!, then he leaned over and kissed me.
Kathy was trying real hard not to yell out "WHAT!!!" she was surprised, because even though she knew this was bound to happen she didn't actually think that Michael would have the guts, so she just let Joey continue. -I didn't know what to do, I stood there frozen. But then it felt so good, I was lost. His lips were soft and warm and tasty. I answered and we started making out in the car. He was kissing me Kat, me!!! And he was fully aware of it!!! When I finally got a hang of myself I pulled back and barely being able to speak told him I had to go. Now regularly he wouldn't have stopped me but then he said no. He turned off the car, took the keys, got out and went to my door, opened it and pulled me out. What was I supposed to do, I was shocked, confused, and a whole lot of other things. He locked the car and took me inside his house. I was like a zombie, I just followed. My heart was beating so hard I really thought he could hear it. His hands were sweaty; I honestly believe he was just as nervous as me if not more. We went into his room and he started kissing me again, touching me. Now I could go on and give you all the nasty details or I could leave it to your imagination.
Joey stopped for a second. She looked utterly confused, but Kathy knew she had to go on, and for her to know the full extent of this situation she had to know every detail of the encounter.
-Please go on, I want to and I need to know-
-OK, but do not say I did not warn you, Jo smiled and went on, So anyways, he starts kissing me and then he lays me on the bed, pulls himself apart a bit and stares at me before just taking on my mouth again and letting his hands do the talking. I was so nervous I was trembling. He stops, pulls me up for a second and whispers in my ears, with this harsh, low, so seducing tone of voice "Don't worry, this won't hurt you and I will not do anything you don't want me to" You can imagine the effect that had on me. I was lost in every way. A little voice in my mind kept saying "stand up, stop, leave, you are going to ruin this forever" but my body had a mind of its own. Kat I had never been so hot for anyone in my entire life. I couldn't stop. Then he starts undressing me, kissing every part of me. All of a sudden he stops, gets up, tells me not to move and goes into the bathroom. So there I am, lying in his bed, thinking "now is the time, leave, leave now, now is your chance, go" but my body would not listen to my mind. Before I could react to anything he was back, naked.- For a few seconds Joey lost herself in though and Kathy had to snap her fingers to get her attention back, this was way to interesting.
-Sorry. He was naked Kat, I mean I had seen him almost naked before, but he had never been like that just for me. And oh-my-God, all I can say is that if there was an award for how big it is, he would definitely win it. - Kathy could not help it and burst out laughing, Joey joined her, then kept on going.
-So he comes back to the bed and sits behind me, starts kissing my neck and finishing undressing me. I didn't know how to stop him, nor I wanted to, my body answered to him automatically.-sigh- He felt so good, I felt so good. I don't remember ever having a better, sweeter, hotter, more lustful orgasm in my life. But as soon as it was over, my consciousness took over and I remembered that we were supposed to be friends, for God’s sake he has a "fiancée". I stood up because I had to go. I could not find my bra so I asked him, he doesn't seem to care that I lost it and that it is somewhere in his house where his fiancée could find it. He stands in the doorway blocking my exit. I say "I have to go" and he answered in a very calm way "you are free to do whatever you want", but he is looking at me in such an intense way I could almost hear his eyes saying "don't leave". I did not know what to do, here I am freaking out. So after what seemed and eternal moment he steps aside and I am almost out when I said "call me later." Now as you can imagine he has not called and I don't know what I will say when he does. I am freaking out, I mean, for all I knew he did not want anything to do with me when it came to sex." I got home and all I could think of was what had happened and that I needed to call you for some guidance, I have not slept and I've been walking all morning long trying to make sense out of it, until I could not take it anymore and I called you.-
Kathy was just staring at her in awe, but wanting to laugh. Joey was an excellent business woman, she knew her way around any problem she could encounter and always came out triumphant. But like every other smart-successful business woman she had no idea what to do when it came to her Achilles heel, Michael. As much as Kathy wanted to she could not deny that they were such good friends because they had gone through the same things and neither of them had a clue. Joey's misfortune was Michael, Kathy's was Jack.
-OK, breathe!!!, lets take it one step at a time, Kathy was trying to be supportive, but in reality she did not know what to say, having been there before and not entirely gotten over it. -to be honest, I don't know what to say...- Joey did not let her finish.
-Oh come on! you were here, you went through this with Jack, what happens next, what do I do, how do I deal with this, what do I say? give me something, give me anything.- Joey was right, but Kathy did not know.
- You are right, but remember he left, there was no "what happens after", only that I was left alone after what turned out to be the best and the worst night of my life and I still don't have an answer, even though he came back.- Kathy said it before she thought about it, but now she could not take it back, so she just looked at Joey, with true sadness in her eyes.
-And how come you had not mentioned this before?!!! I want to kill you!, but please share.- Joey was more interested in knowing what happened than mad a Kathy. so Kathy told her about the previous encounter. Leaving no detail out. -So we truly are in the same spot, only Jack is back and Michael here is AWOL. We are truly pathetic when it comes to relationships.- Joey said it with such sarcasm that they could not help bursting out and laughing. Kathy then took advantage of their mood and told her that she needed her help for the campaign. Kathy often hired Joey as a freelance creative to help in the campaigns.
-Let me see if I get this straight. You want me to help out in Jack's campaign. You do know I want to rip his head off and just shout at him for leaving you like that? But more importantly what are you going to do, I do not want to see you the way you were when he left.-
-I know, and don't worry I have grown since then, I am not as fragile and gullible as I was.- Kathy remembered how it was, how devastated she was and how used she felt. If it had not been for Joey she would've not been able to pick herself up and become who she had become. The truth was they had supported themselves through the toughest times. Joey was the one to talked after a long silence.
-So what now?
-Now we have lunch and go to my office since we have a meeting at two with the rest of the team and Jack. Joey just smiled and they went on to lunch.